Faith Spilling Over… Into Everyday Life

Grow Your Marriage: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff


Grow Your marriageA friend used to say that more couples divorced over the cap left off the toothpaste than for any other reason.  Mind you, her un-scientific statement was totally based on personal opinion, but it made an important point: we tend to blow little things out of proportion. Sweating the small stuff hurts marriages.

Last weekend we celebrated my husband’s 60th birthday with friends and family. Enjoying this milestone made me mindful of what a wonderful husband I have.

Is he the perfect husband?


But he’s faithful, responsible, gentle and usually considerate. We have a healthy marriage. Since Jose’s not perfect, of course he has bad days, but honestly, his bad days are NOTHING compared to MINE! I want to keep growing as a wife, so I’ve made a new decision. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don’t sweat the small stuff:

What’s the small stuff? The small stuff is the little quirks and habits that drive us crazy and get us all bent out of shape if we let them. Your husband likes the living room curtains open, and you like them shut. So all week you go through a battle: you open them; he shuts them. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Has anyone else been through that routine?

Maybe your husband feels comfortable in old jeans and plaid shirts, and you wish he wore smarter clothes. Maybe he’s not an over-the-top-romantic when it comes to Valentine’s Day.  Many men aren’t.

Focus on the Positive:

What would happen if instead of sweating the small stuff, we decided to look at the bigger picture and focus on the positive?  Does your husband work? Does he ever play with the kids?

Last week my husband turned a bad day around for me. Jose makes breakfast most days, but Wednesdays are my turn. Last Wednesday I was running late (like usual). In my hurry I let the cream of wheat boil over and dropped a raw egg. By the time Jose got to the kitchen, I was fuming. He quietly picked up a dish rag to help me. Then after breakfast he helped with the dishes. Even though Wednesday wasn’t his turn. Seeing him serve me melted my heart and changed my day.

I remembered again how faithful my husband is to serve our family.

Communicate Your Appreciation:

What qualities does your mate have? What do you appreciate about him? Thank your husband for something or mention a quality you recognize in him at least once a day.  Write a note or send a text occasionally to let him know how much he means to you and how much you appreciate him. Leave a treat on his pillow. When he comes through the door at night, stop your busy activities to look him in the eyes and ask how he is.

I want to grow in letting go of petty things, focusing on the positive, and communicating more appreciation. Will you join me?

What do you appreciate about your husband? Leave a comment to share it with us. 


Author: betsydecruz

I want to enjoy the everyday life God is giving me as best I can, even when the road gets bumpy. I love having fun with my teenagers, learning almost anything, and drinking dark roast coffee with my friends.

8 thoughts on “Grow Your Marriage: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

  1. Thanks for this reminder, Betsy! I appreciate that my husband is putting our baby to bed right now so I can have a break!

  2. My husband continues to surprise me after 31 years of marriage. We were expecting (and received) a lot of snow from Wednesday night through Thursday. Friday morning I came in from sweeping the snow off the front porch and he was arranging my Valentine’s Day flowers. The surprising part? He had purchased them on Wednesday night after work and kept them in his car until Friday morning! Awesome!

  3. My husband always amazes me with his positive attitude. In spite of his disability to continue teaching full-time as a professor due to his speech and memory problems from an illness, he does what he can and presses forward in serving the Lord. He has a wonderful way of seeing the humor in things that would usually frustrate and discourage me. He is a precious man of God and I am so blessed to be his wife. Thanks for helping me remember to let go of the small stuff and be grateful for all I’ve been given.

    • Wow, Sabra. That is amazing! May the Lord continue blessing your marriage a hundredfold. (My husband has an ever-so-slight memory problem from a health situation as well. I admire him immensely and trust the Lord to keep him in health.)

  4. Betsy, I shared this article of yours on Google +. You write such wonderful things for so many women to enhance lives. I love your blog!


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