Faith Spilling Over… Into Everyday Life

Your True Identity: Dish Washer, Mom, or Princess?



For years I kept a small rhinestone crown above the kitchen sink, so I could see it while I cooked and washed dishes. It reminded me that despite the long hours I spent in the kitchen, I was more than a dish washer and a short order cook. That little crown reminded me of my true identity in Christ.

Do you ever struggle with feeling defined by what you do (and don’t do)? I spend my days in a flurry of home schooling and serving alongside my pastor husband. Sometimes I feel like everything I do is half way. The house is halfway clean, and I’m a halfway wife and mother. Meals are haphazard. At the end of the day, I’m a grumpy mom with grumpy kids and a living room strewn with books. So I must be just a dumb housewife who can’t get her act together, right?

Our True Identity

Our value flows not from what we do, but from the fact that God loves and values us. We’re wonderful, amazing works of art, fashioned by God. We’re beloved children with a secure identity that originates from a love relationship with our Father.

However, since sin entered the Garden of Eden, our natural bent is to stray from God. So we strive to find our identity apart from Him. If you take God’s love out of the equation, you’re left with what the world tells you: your identity comes from what you do, so your work had better be significant, and you’d better be successful at it.

So we let what we do define us. And we’re left feeling small.

  • Maybe you ended up as the low man on the totem pole after a restructuring at your office.
  • Maybe you’re a stay at home mom, and by 5:00 p.m. the house is a wreck, the kids are a wreck, and you have nothing to show for your labor.

God’s word speaks of a sure identity for his children: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)

You’re God’s Masterpiece:

When God created you, He made someone beautiful and amazing. He fashioned you in His image, with the capacity to reflect His glory to the world around you in a way that no one else can.

Your Work Has Meaning:

You were created to do good works. They may not look like much in the world’s eyes, but they’re what God prepared for you, and it gives Him pleasure to see you do your work for him.

Remember that the next time you:

  • Throw one more load of laundry in the machine.
  • Read a story to the little people on the couch.
  • Do a favor for your husband.
  • Reach out to a hurting friend.

You’re a one-of-a-kind daughter of the King. That makes you a Princess! So keep on shining, whether at work or at home. Keep on shining for those kids you drive all over town. I wish I could give you a little rhinestone crown to keep in your kitchen.

This is part 3 of a 5 part series on Mondays called “Beautiful, Amazing You.”
Part 1: Beauty That Goes Beyond Skin Deep                Part 2: Beautiful, Amazing You: Deeply Loved

Author: betsydecruz

I want to enjoy the everyday life God is giving me as best I can, even when the road gets bumpy. I love having fun with my teenagers, learning almost anything, and drinking dark roast coffee with my friends.

12 thoughts on “Your True Identity: Dish Washer, Mom, or Princess?

  1. What a beautiful word of encouragement, Betsy! Thank you for filling my heart with the truth of my identity in Christ this morning. Words I need to be reminded of each and every day!

    I often find myself feeling just as you describe–like everything I do is halfway and nothing is ever completed well, if at all. Maybe it is because we long for the satisfaction of seeing a completed work. I know I get flustered when I don’t have time to finish what I set out to do and have to wait for another day. But the truth is every moment spent loving those around us and doing those mundane, needed tasks, and pursuing those good works–every single moment is precious in God’s sight when we do it out of love for Him.

    It isn’t about us feeling good about what we complete or how much we accomplish or what the results are. It is simply about faithful obedience in serving the Lord and loving Him wholeheartedly. We are truly blessed to be daughters of the King!

    Thank you, Betsy, for this word of truth today.

    • I love this: “It isn’t about us feeling good about what we complete or how much we accomplish or what the results are. It is simply about faithful obedience in serving the Lord and loving Him wholeheartedly.” I think that’s one of the challenges of motherhood and ministry as well. (most jobs probably!)

  2. Good reminders. I know I don’t often FEEL like a princess — but my feelings are not TRUTH!

  3. Oh Betsy, How I identify with you!!! I know we have not been in contact since you were in Costa Rica. Currently, I am a teacher in the Chicago Suburbs. Although I do not have children of my own, teaching seems to be taking every minute of my life. The pending tasks are never finished. Besides, the standarized testing, expectations of the District, and my own sinful nature of wanting to do everything perfect (which actually looks very far from it) make my life so hectic. Thank you for your words. Sometimes I feel like shouting “can I have a normal life, please? I need to change so much and let God’s grace guide me so I can live as His Princess on earth and not like a crazy woman trying to meet every bodies expectations. I love the symbol of the rhinestone.

    • Oh Adriana, sorry about your job being so hard. A job like that is one where you’re never finished! May God give you abundant grace and the ability to rest in the “never enough.” His death was enough to clover your insufficiency. If you ever discover the secret to having a “normal” life, please let me know, because I’ve never found it!

  4. I am so moved by your idea of keeping a princess crown above the kitchen sink. I love that! I hope you won’t mind if I steal your inspiration for myself. I can’t wait to confiscate one of my daughter’s old princess crowns for my kitchen. I am the daughter of the King of the whole world! I actually never thought of it in those terms before. I am a princess! That’s amazing.
    Betsy, thanks so much for your wonderful blog. You are a talented leader for women of faith.

  5. Thanks for this. I’ve done a LOT of thinking about my identity and have been blessed by Henry Nouwen’s teaching on basing my identity as the Beloved of God. He says that we tend to define ourselves by what we do (which you shared above), what we have and what others say about us. Check out his YouTube sermon on the Beloved of God…it is worth watching – every year for me!

  6. Great encouragement today as I head into my work outside the home today and continue my ministry here in our home. Thank you Betsy! I’ll be looking for a crown for my kitchen 😉

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