I’m a recovering Control Queen. (Don’t you think Queen sounds better than Freak?) I like to plan and organize. Unfortunately, I can butt heads with anyone who gets in my way. Just ask my family. I’m perfectly willing to schedule and plan their lives for them, but would you believe they have their own ideas?
- I made an elaborate chore chart, and my kids went AWOL on it
- I wanted to dress my daughter in pink frills, but she likes casual cool.
- When we moved into this house, I was excited to use the third bathroom as a storage closet. Who wants three bathrooms in an APARTMENT when you have no closet? Apparently my husband did.
I’m embarrassed to confess that I get stressed out over itty-bitty issues like these. The bottom line is I want my own way. I want control over my own life (and sometimes over the lives of those closest to me).
I like to run the show and call the shots, but that’s God’s job, not mine.
Sometimes life slips out of my control in a big way, and God reminds me that He’s the one in control.
Like the time our landlord gave us four days to vacate our apartment.
Or the time I waited with my husband 3 hours out on the pavement outside our local emergency room in Izmir. We found out Jose had had a mini-stroke. He needed to stay in the hospital, but they had no available beds. So he spent the night on a reclining chair in the emergency room. (Nope, you don’t plan stuff like that.)
When life spins out of control, two simple facts encourage me.
1. God holds me in His hands.
How amazing to think that no detail of our lives escapes God. We have a secure place to rest. We can let go of the stress of trying to run the show ourselves. God has control over our very breath.
2. I can trust Him because He loves me.
Life can take scary, unsettling turns, but we can trust God’s perfect love for us. As we look back over each trial, we can see He redeemed it and used it to shape us. He’s had our good in mind all along. He’s doing a transforming work in our hearts as we learn to step down and let Him be God.
Here’s my Recovering Control Queen Manifesto:
When I let go of control over smaller issues, I’m more fun to be around. I’m a better mom when I’m not stressing over my daughter’s decision to be a vegetarian. I’m a better wife if I choose not to comment when my husband puts on that same old sweater to go to a party.
Letting go of control over small daily issues is good practice for learning to release life’s bigger problems to God’s oversight. Letting go brings freedom. I’m free to rest. I’m free to trust. I’m free to let God change me. And so are you.
Now it’s your turn: Do you have any Control Queen tendencies?