Faith Spilling Over… Into Everyday Life

What Does My Teen Girl Need From Me?


what does my teen girl need

When my kids were little, older parents scared me to death by saying, “You think it’s hard now? Wait ‘til they’re teens!” I wondered how I’d survive the teenage years, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised. So far I’ve enjoyed this stage of parenting more than any other. Teenagers are fun. I can do yoga and cook with Camille. When I call home, Andres answers with his best Indian accent. “Taj Mahal Grill. How may I help you?”

Nevertheless, I see occasional fireworks, especially since I live under the same roof with a teen girl while going through pre-menopause myself. My girl and I both deal with hormones that spike and plummet. I’ve gotten better at crisis management, but some days I wonder what on earth I’m supposed to be doing.

Do you ever ask yourself, “What does my daughter need from me?”

Follow me over to my friend Kristine Brown’s blog to read about 3 ways to be a better mom to teens. I’m honored to be guest posting for Kristine today. If you asked my teenagers, they’d tell  you I’m no Supermom, but these are three things I’m trying to learn. I’d love to hear your ideas too.


I love linking with these communities: Holly Barrett’s #TestimonyTuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRalinkup,  Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory, and Grace and Truth.  Check them out for more encouragement.

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Author: betsydecruz

I want to enjoy the everyday life God is giving me as best I can, even when the road gets bumpy. I love having fun with my teenagers, learning almost anything, and drinking dark roast coffee with my friends.

15 thoughts on “What Does My Teen Girl Need From Me?

  1. Great ideas for being a mom to teen daughters but honestly the advice can be the same for teenage boys. I learned a hard lesson as a mom when my sons were teenagers because I thought every time they were trying to share something with me I was supposed to give advice/ That’s what moms do, right? The first time my one son told me that he really just wanted me to listen was a slap to my ego and my parenting. I did learn that as they get older they will specifically let us know when it is advice they need or a good listening ear that they desire. Thank you for sharing some great parenting advice.

  2. Betsy, I got different “warnings” when my kids were babies. So many people said to me, “Oh, you’re going to have so much more free time when your kids get older — you just wait!” Twenty years later, I’m still waiting for that to happen. Maybe those parents put their kids out on an ice floe when they hit puberty? Not sure how to account for it, but that has been my toughest adjustment to parenting teens. If one has a summer job that starts at 6 a.m. and another one goes to a movie that keeps him out until 11:00, this middle-aged mumma is one tired girl. And, not to end on a negative note: I wouldn’t miss those early morning or late night conversations for anything!

    • I know what you mean, Michele! I feel the same. By 9:30 p.m., I’m ready to kind of quiet down, read, etc., but my teens are still going full steam. Sometimes I miss those days of 9:00 p.m. bedtimes. But I figure I’d better enjoy them now. I kind of think my teens need me more now, so I tend to spend more time…

  3. I too feel very blessed in my relationships with both my teen son and daughter.
    Like you, Betsy, I heard so many warnings about teenagers, “Just wait!”
    But also like you, I’ve been pleasantly surprised too. My kids are intelligent, considerate, enjoyable people.
    My mother-child relationship with my daughter is evolving into her becoming one of my sweetest friends ever.
    Teenagers are pretty wonderful!

    • Don’t you love pleasant surprises? 🙂 Yes, I have a sweet friendship with my daughter too, Deborah. So good to see you here today. I’ve missed you! I think you’d mentioned that you were going to stop blogging, so I haven’t been by to check.

  4. I didn’t have any daughters until my son got married 13 years ago. I am crazy about my DIL but she was already grown, lol. Your post is spot on and I agree it is good for sons too! Blessings, Betsy!

  5. I loved your advice. I honestly wish my mom would have followed that more when I was a teenager. She was very much about control, her way, and not allowing us to discover ourselves, so when we left for college, we all went a little, shall we say crazy…and that totally could have been avoided if we had a mom who would have followed your guide, Betsy, to know when to stay quiet and pray, and then know when to intervene!

    • It’s really hard, Nicki. Now that I can see things from here, I sometimes think of my mom and all that I put her through! I’m praying for mine as they go off to college. First one flies the coop in August! Yikes!

  6. As Madison approach the teen years, some “friends” just scared me to death. I thought she would wake up one day and be wild and unrecognizable. The day she started middle school (7th grade) I was face down in the carpet, crying and praying. I didn’t know who I would pick up. I am so glad to report, she was a great teenager and now a beautiful, amazing friend. Sometimes the dust would fly at our house but it always settled down. Thanks for such great tips. You are a teacher friend.

    • I love that, Carmen: “The dust would fly at our house but it always settled down.” Same here at this house. So happy for you that you have a beautiful, amazing friend now! 🙂 Good job, mama!

  7. Hi Betsy, I enjoyed the post. Such wonderful advice you have given.
    God Bless friend

  8. Hi, Betsy! 🙂 We have been blessed with an easy teen for our first one, but with three more to follow (including one girl), I’m sure there will be some rough road ahead. 🙂 I think I find it hardest to “let go of control,” but I’m working on that, with the Lord’s help. And since our oldest boy has been so trustworthy thus far, it’s really helped me in that area. Thanks for sharing this with us at Grace and Truth last week!
    Jen @ Being Confident of This

  9. Goodness, did this hit home! Love it! I am mom to one tween and one teen daughter, and you are so right about the “just wait” comments! I heard the same, but I, too, have found that parenting t(w)eens is a joyride in the best sense. (Naturally, this inspired not one but 2 blog posts in defense of raising teens and raising daughters! 🙂 ) I have bookmarked this page so I can read more about what my teenager daughter needs from me when I’ve had a walk and am having coffee! Blessings to you…stopping by from the #RaRaLinkup!

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