Faith Spilling Over… Into Everyday Life

When You Don’t Want What You Get


Finding God in your everyday

Welcome to “Finding God in Your Everyday,” an August blog series. Each Tuesday a different writer shares a story highlighting how God shows himself to us in our everyday, messy lives. This week’s guest is Kristi Woods, a friend with a knack for telling a good story that relates to our spiritual lives.


When You Don’t Want What You Get

“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. 

Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Luke 22:42 NLT


The day bubbled with excitement. Family and friends from miles around gathered with both their presence and their gifts. It was wedding day.

I always had a strong will, a desire to “get what I wanted.” It often created internal turmoil. Wedding day and its subsequent gift opening were no different.

Paper ripped. Ooo’s and ahhh’s filled the air. A cooler, towels, and cookware were revealed. Silverware was as well. I look back at the generosity and can certainly say, “We were blessed.”

But there was one gift that didn’t fit my trivial desire: the silverware. Its nice, somewhat common pattern didn’t match the registry. I was disappointed.

Receiving the unwanted is sometimes life’s reality. Getting what we don’t want is, at times, exactly what we need.


Mom taught me to be gracious, and I was…on the outside. In the shadow of graciousness, I tucked the new pattern into our silverware drawer and put the utensils to use. Only later did I realize what a perfect fit the new silverware was.

I thought I wanted a sleek, contemporary pattern. It ended up being a horrible solution for my family. It didn’t fit well in either my husband’s or my grip. The nice, sleek pattern slid right out of our hands, and so did the food! So much for function. So much for good.

The pattern that birthed disappointment became the appointed one. Although it wasn’t what I expected or thought I wanted, the gift-giver knew better. (I dearly love that gift giver, by the way.) The silverware was just right for our two-person family; we loved it and used it well.

It’s often best we don’t always get what we think we want – silverware, ministry, talent, or otherwise. It’s best to get what God desires.

Setting his face like flint, only speaking and acting in the Father’s will, Jesus submitted. He trusted. His feet stepped forward in our Father’s will, taking his place upon the cross and showing us the way. Joy found Jesus and us on the other side.

A rejection now can feel heavy, nearly overwhelming, somewhat like the wrong pattern of silverware. But it might be the needed “gift” of strength-building for that which is coming.

The gift of a loving and truthful, albeit slightly hurtful, word from a precious friend might not be a choice selection, but it’s often what our ears and heart need for the race.

Jesus’ death didn’t seem such a glorious gift at its onset. However, his resurrection and ascension proved powerful and beyond compare.

I long to be like Jesus. You too? Having a heart that pumps with trust for my Father’s will and offering an open hand for whatever “silverware pattern” he sets in mine – that’s how I long to be.

The fork and spoon reaction now brings a cringe. It was trivial. But walking in our Father’s will is anything but trivial. Let’s challenge one another to walk there.

Lord, Your way is right and brings life. Show me how to walk in trust, how to have an open hand for your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now it’s your turn: Have you ever gotten something you didn’t want and later realized it was what you needed?

Woods Family_0154

Kristi Woods loves a warm, sunny day and to write, read, and talk all things Jesus. She’s passionate about seeing women walk deeper in their relationship with the Lord and clicks her words of encouragement onto the screen of regularly. Kristi, her retired-from-the-military husband, and their three children survived the nomadic military lifestyle and set roots, along with their furry, rescued pets, in Oklahoma. Connect with Kristi on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

I love linking with these communities: Holly Barrett’s #TestimonyTuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRalinkup, Holley Gerth’s #CoffeeforYourHeart, and Grace and Truth.  Check them out for more encouragement.


Author: betsydecruz

I want to enjoy the everyday life God is giving me as best I can, even when the road gets bumpy. I love having fun with my teenagers, learning almost anything, and drinking dark roast coffee with my friends.

40 thoughts on “When You Don’t Want What You Get

  1. Well, okay. I didn’t want terminal illness (what they say is pancreatic cancer). It’s not what I needed. Pardon the expression, but this really sucks.

    However – I will meet this nightmare head-on. I will fight for God and Honour and Fair Play. I will show the world that this is how a gentleman dies.

    And perhaps it is that end which I needed, for I was never meant to grow old. I was a warrior by contract – a mercenary, and I should have died long ago. That I did not is perhaps a Divine oversight, or perhaps it is placement – that I can bear witness to a faith that is not shaken, even through loneliness and the darkest of nights.

    For I believe in God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, my High Tower, who molded my fingers to fight, and my hands to war – on His account, and on His behalf.

    This is my chance to show that I will not break faith.

    • Hi Andrew. It’s evident, through your words, that you’re a warrior. Praise God. I’ve not walked your shoes. After all, does silverware even exist in the face of terminal illness? It pales, surely. But this one thing, you and your life will be set before the throne of God. I will be certain to pray. And today? May I encourage you? 2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way….”NIV Fight on, Brave Warrior.

    • Andrew, you are an amazing person. Yes to this: “This is my chance to show that I will not break faith.” Your life brings glory to God in ways that mine never could. (Well, unless I get pancreatic cancer, not what I hope for either…) Grace to you today, brother.

  2. Such a good word. It’s best to get what God desires! Thanks for sharing this at #RaRaLinkup!

  3. This is amazing, and it reminds me of Elisabeth Elliot’s definition of suffering: “Wanting what you don’t have or having what you don’t want.” Our true heart shows up in the most mundane and trivial “suffering,” but, thanks be to God, He is working in us, and He doesn’t give up on us — even when we cringe at the memory of our own actions and attitudes.

  4. Lots of lessons from our reactions to gifts received along the way. We realize how self-absorbed, petty, and small our worlds can become. Thanks, Kristi, for taking us there, this morning. And for showing us a better way.

    It’s good to meet you! Very good …

  5. This happened to me many times as a young wife and mother! There are so many things we ask for that aren’t practical! We think it’s what we want, but later realize it’s not. I love your description here, Kristi. God knows what we need and what is the right ‘fit’ for us. He is so gracious and patient with us, too! Love the post today, friend:)

    • Hi Kristine. Our Almighty God is gracious. That’s something my strong-willed self is ever thankful for! 😉 Blessings, my friend.

  6. Kristi, it is so true. We often are unable to see the gift for what it truly is until we see it in hindsight. I try to remind myself, although I often fail to do so, that our God sees the entire outcome. We need to trust Him, knowing all He does in our lives is ultimately for our good. Even if it is not what we would pick 🙂 Wonderful post!

  7. Betsy -Loving this series!
    Kristi- Thank you for sharing so honestly! Yes, I have too. Probably more than I’d like to admit it. This is a story I’ll remember : ) Thanks!

    • It was ugliness in the heart, that’s for certain. Thank goodness our God is big and can take care of situations like this or bigger. You’re a blessing. Thanks for stopping by.

  8. Such a great post! This may sound horrible, but I fought against motherhood for a very long time. I was more accepting of it after I got married, but fought against the idea after my son was born. But now I realize that both my son and my husband are tremendous gifts. Thank you for sharing your heart!

    • We all have our “horrible”. You’re not alone. God is gracious to be patient, to heal, and to guide in all those situations. (And, I think you’re pretty brave, too.)

  9. This is a wonderful story, Kristi. I can definitely relate … to small things like silverware (that seem so big at the time) and to more significant things. For me, the most obvious example is becoming a mom via adoption rather than pregnancy. I didn’t want infertility, but God knew … not only what was best for me and my family, but what would bring us the most joy. Now, almost 14 years after we brought home our older daughter, I’m so glad things didn’t turn out how I originally hoped they would! Thank you for a great post!

  10. Your Series is beautiful Kristi, I left a comment over on your blog but it disappeared!
    Call it a blessing in disguise, It has been challenging getting onl’ne for more than a month now because my laptop suddenly went blank
    I sent it back to the suppliers and it took that long for the miracle God had planned to manifest. Call it a testimony, they replaced my laptop with a new one!
    Miracle, I didnt want my PC broken down of course but God knew that it was better I got a replacement without payment.
    Loads of Blessings to you both Kristi and Betsy

    • Hi Ifeoma. I’m cheering for your new laptop. Computer situations can be frustrating! But many are blessings in disguise, just as you mentioned.

  11. Pingback: When You Don’t Want What You Get

  12. Kristi, your words reminded me of the many times I didn’t get what I want but exactly what I needed. Though usually not until hindsight was I able to see the blessing in God’s choice for me. Thank you, Kristi, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday on Intentionally Pursuing. : )

  13. Kristi,
    I guess you could say I’ve always been head-strong…okay downright stubborn sometimes. I think I know what I want and need, but I am learning that God, in His goodness, knows better. Like right now. I am plopped on the sofa with my knee (fresh from surgery) propped up. A third recuperation from surgery in 3 years is NOT what I wanted, but I’m learning that these “forced time-outs” are often what I need. Sometimes God has to take me out of the lineup to get my attention. I could totally relate to your story. Enjoyed reading your post here at Betsy’s place!!

  14. Great post! Many blessings to you ❤️

  15. I can so relate to you here. My husband always tells me I never like what I order. He means this on many levels not just what I ordered in a restaurant. Satisfaction can be tough to obtain. I love this: “Getting what we don’t want is, at times, exactly what we need.” God knows so much more than we do :). Thankfully He is in charge. Blessings!

  16. Oh Kristi, I love this! I am so often the same way- I complain and pout like a child when I don’t get what I want but God’s ways are always best, even when I don’t see it right away. Thank you for sharing your story here, friend. What I blessing to find you here today and Betsy I can’t wait to go back and catch up on this series now that I have a computer. 😉 xoxo

  17. Oh yes. And the other times I can’t see the good, I know to wait and it will be revealed to me!

  18. Oh yeah. So many times we get focused on how we think things should turn out that we get disillusioned when we don’t get what we want. But I’m learning that if we will just persist and trust and have faith, just like your silverware, God will give us what we need that will suit us better instead!

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s