I try to put my best foot forward in other relationships, but my husband sees my worst side. I may have a cheery smile for everyone else, but all too often, Jose gets my tired leftovers: the stressed, whiny me or the preoccupied, distracted me.
I must need to have my head examined because I’m married to the most amazing man on the face of the earth. But when I’m not intentional about slowing down to appreciate him, our relationship turns ho-hum.
My marriage gets lost in the busy.
I blast through a typical day juggling family, ministry, home schooling, and writing. Then there’s housework. Oh, and I try to remember to keep food in the fridge and cook. (That’s the most important thing for the troops around here.)
By the time I get to my man, it feels like there’s not enough of me left over. Just the other day, Jose came home at 5:00, and I breezed right past him in the kitchen. Barely saw him in my hurry to grab 30 minutes to work before it was time to make dinner.
I lose the joy of being married.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a ho-hum marriage that cruises along with minimum effort. I want to bring more than tired leftovers to the table. I want to invest in my marriage.
I want to be a more joyful wife.
Let’s Look at Some Ways to Bring More Joy to Our Marriages.
Pray each day for your husband and your relationship. Ask God to bring freshness and joy to your marriage.
Care for Yourself
It sounds contradictory to care for ourselves in order to invest in our marriages, but adequate rest, physical exercise and good diet probably make us happier, healthier wives. (I’m pretty sure 8 hours of sleep a night can work wonders for any relationship.) Girlfriend time, hobbies, or creative pursuits can renew our spirits. We have more to give our husbands when we feed our own hearts with prayer and God’s Word each day.
If you’re in the baby stage now, self-care is hard, but with a little creativity and intentionality, you can still find ways!
Make Time for Conversation.
Remember the delight of discovering your husband when you were dating? Ask him what his dreams are. Ask how you can pray for him. Taking time to talk injects life into a marriage, whether you grab a half an hour after the kids go to bed, go on a weekly date, or take a walk.
Be Fully Present.
Do you ever notice how you can sit next to your husband physically and be on another planet mentally? Sometimes we get so caught up in our own thoughts that we don’t really listen. What if we chose to be intentional about focusing more on our husbands and less on ourselves once in a while?
Go on a Complaining Fast
Complaints drive my husband crazy and zap the joy out of our relationship faster than anything. Recently I read a devotional about going on a complaining fast. Decide for one day that no matter what happens, no matter what your husband says or does, you won’t complain or criticize him. Then try it for three days, and see how it affects your relationship.
Look For ways to Encourage Him
Ask God to show you how you can encourage your husband more consistently. Thank him for things he does for you and the kids. Smile at him. Say “I love you” often. Give him more kisses and hugs. Tell him what you appreciate about him.
Scripture says that an excellent wife is more valuable than jewels. Will you join me in seeking to bless your husband by being a more joyful wife today? Let’s put our best foot forward in our marriages.
Now it’s your turn: Do you have any suggestions for our community about how to be a more joyful wife?